Leave me now, get out of my way. You were the one holding me back all along. I thought I wasn’t good enough, that I needed your love or support or god knows what. And in the end it was you who stopped me from getting where I wanted to go. All I ever wanted was in my grasp and you took it and put it as far from me as possible. Well now that you’re out of my way I can go and live and fight and struggle and bite and climb and hurt and fall and FEEL. And you aren’t there to hold me back anymore! But that’s never what I wanted; never what I thought it would come to. I always thought we’d go through all those things together. That they’d make us stronger, that going through them together would bring us closer. Not tear us further and further apart. Kill us, us, a little more each time something came up. We weren’t meant to fail! We weren’t meant to become so sick of each other that we… that you don’t even listen to me. Goodbye.
Friday, November 12, 2010
"Hiding behind a smile" Monologue
The hardest thing to do in this life is to hide behind a smile. Paste on a smile and all of a sudden everything is ok. People look at you, get one small glimpse of sadness but then a smile crosses your face for a moment and they ignore the real emotion for the one you create. You begin to believe it to, that everything you’re going through isn’t real. That maybe the pain is the false emotion. And then it returns, just as dark and unforgiving as it was when it began. It doesn’t feel, doesn’t know the anguish you go through, it just is. And it sits inside you hidden deep behind your layers of lies, lies that we tell ourselves. Life is a lie. A lie even greater than the smile painted on my lips.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Act 1 Scene 1 "Unmistakably Me"
Act 1 scene 1
The play begins in a room filled to the brim with knick knacks of many different varieties, but the chaos of knick knacks is an organized one. There is plenty of room to walk around and a clean bed and nightstand. There is a boy on the bed, Charlie. He is twelve years of age and the one thing he is committed to is being exactly who he is. He is a writer. And he keeps journals of his writing on the nightstand by his bed. At least one journal is with him at all time should he find inspiration in his surroundings. He is truly and unmistakably one of a kind, and he enjoys the solitude which accompanies it.
Danny- (to the audience directly, Almost like they are his imaginary friends) What is change? what can we do to change ourselves. or is it even possible? Because once we change ourselves isnt that what we "are" at that moment? I know i thought it was strange to at first. but then i thought wait a second if we want to avoid change then we have to be completely the same five minutes from now as we are at this moment. you have to abandon all sense of time and think of nothing... i havent been able to do this yet but im working on it.
Marie- Danny, Nanette is here to see you.
Danny- Tell her she can come up
Nanette- (walking into the room) You think id wait for an invitation? as much as im over here it might as well be my room.
Danny- well it wouldn't hurt if you'd ask once in a while
Nanette- (running out the door so she can knock) One sec. (closes the door and knocks loudly) Can i come in? (without waiting for a reply she barges back into the room) well you didn't say i had to wait for a reply!
Danny- (going towards his dresser) fine just let me grab my coat and well go.
Nanette- Its the end of spring, why do you need a jacket?
Danny- I need the big pockets for my journal and pencils.
Nanette- you know one of these days your gonna forget your journal when we go to the park and you wont grab your pencil case and you wont be able to write about anything we say or do or see.
Danny- nope i will always bring my journal with me, even when im on my deathbed and i have to have someone else write things down for me it will always be by my side, even if i couldn't talk i would learn sign language so that they...
Nanette- alright alright i get it. sheesh you and your journals, do you like those more than your brother
Danny- Definitely
Nanette- More than your dad, your mom
Danny- (sarcastically) as much as it pains me, yeah
Nanette- More than me?
Danny- Well they are just journals, and i cant really judge them against people i guess...
Nanette- Thats not an answer...
Danny- No Nanette your the only person around here that keeps me sane without you id go crazy.
Nanette- Okay i just wanted to make sure, come on! sheesh your so slow! (she exits)
Danny- I didn't mean it journal, your my favorite
Nanette-(offstage) I HEARD THAT
(Danny, with one look back to the audience, exits following after Nanette. Lights fade to black)
The play begins in a room filled to the brim with knick knacks of many different varieties, but the chaos of knick knacks is an organized one. There is plenty of room to walk around and a clean bed and nightstand. There is a boy on the bed, Charlie. He is twelve years of age and the one thing he is committed to is being exactly who he is. He is a writer. And he keeps journals of his writing on the nightstand by his bed. At least one journal is with him at all time should he find inspiration in his surroundings. He is truly and unmistakably one of a kind, and he enjoys the solitude which accompanies it.
Danny- (to the audience directly, Almost like they are his imaginary friends) What is change? what can we do to change ourselves. or is it even possible? Because once we change ourselves isnt that what we "are" at that moment? I know i thought it was strange to at first. but then i thought wait a second if we want to avoid change then we have to be completely the same five minutes from now as we are at this moment. you have to abandon all sense of time and think of nothing... i havent been able to do this yet but im working on it.
Marie- Danny, Nanette is here to see you.
Danny- Tell her she can come up
Nanette- (walking into the room) You think id wait for an invitation? as much as im over here it might as well be my room.
Danny- well it wouldn't hurt if you'd ask once in a while
Nanette- (running out the door so she can knock) One sec. (closes the door and knocks loudly) Can i come in? (without waiting for a reply she barges back into the room) well you didn't say i had to wait for a reply!
Danny- (going towards his dresser) fine just let me grab my coat and well go.
Nanette- Its the end of spring, why do you need a jacket?
Danny- I need the big pockets for my journal and pencils.
Nanette- you know one of these days your gonna forget your journal when we go to the park and you wont grab your pencil case and you wont be able to write about anything we say or do or see.
Danny- nope i will always bring my journal with me, even when im on my deathbed and i have to have someone else write things down for me it will always be by my side, even if i couldn't talk i would learn sign language so that they...
Nanette- alright alright i get it. sheesh you and your journals, do you like those more than your brother
Danny- Definitely
Nanette- More than your dad, your mom
Danny- (sarcastically) as much as it pains me, yeah
Nanette- More than me?
Danny- Well they are just journals, and i cant really judge them against people i guess...
Nanette- Thats not an answer...
Danny- No Nanette your the only person around here that keeps me sane without you id go crazy.
Nanette- Okay i just wanted to make sure, come on! sheesh your so slow! (she exits)
Danny- I didn't mean it journal, your my favorite
Nanette-(offstage) I HEARD THAT
(Danny, with one look back to the audience, exits following after Nanette. Lights fade to black)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Scene From "Unmistakably Me"
Chris-GET OUT OF MY WAY!
Danny-NO, im not gonna let you do this
Chris-Why the hell not? i really dont give a fuck, danny do i need to remind you that im twice your size and i could easily mess you up if i wanted to?
Danny-I do know that and i know you wouldnt do that to me. Look Chris you dont need this to define who you are
Chris-Yes i do
Danny-NO this isnt you this isnt what you want to be, i know you want to be an actor. i know you secretly love going to watch school plays and everytime we go to the fair and you whine because mom takes us to see the play you actually sit on the edge of your seat because thats what you want to be Chris
Chris-No its not...
Danny-Yes it is, you can lie to mom and dad but i know you chris. You can go and smoke with your friends and get high and drink yourself stupid but just remember that its not getting you any closer to what you want to do.
Chris-You dont know what i want
Danny-Everyone has a dream
Chris-Dreams…hmph. I love to look down at the river and dream. I dream of all sorts of things like my life and a career and maybe even a family. I feel safe in the ripples of the water some going this way some going that way. But all of them, every single ripple is going somewhere; somewhere unknown, uncharted, undiscovered. And here I am watching the river rush by me with nowhere to go. I want to call out to the ripples “where should I go what should I pursue.” But they keep on going paying no mind to me or my dreams by the river. How I wish I could just pick up and go to somewhere far away from here somewhere where everyone and everything is full of life and excitement, somewhere I could be free. But for now I have to sit and watch the ripples go by and bide my time until one day when the opportunity comes knocking I won’t be tied to this river I’ll be ridin on the next train outta here. And you’ll see my name on a billboard and my name in lights, and some kid will take my place on this river and dream of his life, and he’ll say “I love to look down at the river and dream”... dreams…hmph
Danny-NO, im not gonna let you do this
Chris-Why the hell not? i really dont give a fuck, danny do i need to remind you that im twice your size and i could easily mess you up if i wanted to?
Danny-I do know that and i know you wouldnt do that to me. Look Chris you dont need this to define who you are
Chris-Yes i do
Danny-NO this isnt you this isnt what you want to be, i know you want to be an actor. i know you secretly love going to watch school plays and everytime we go to the fair and you whine because mom takes us to see the play you actually sit on the edge of your seat because thats what you want to be Chris
Chris-No its not...
Danny-Yes it is, you can lie to mom and dad but i know you chris. You can go and smoke with your friends and get high and drink yourself stupid but just remember that its not getting you any closer to what you want to do.
Chris-You dont know what i want
Danny-Everyone has a dream
Chris-Dreams…hmph. I love to look down at the river and dream. I dream of all sorts of things like my life and a career and maybe even a family. I feel safe in the ripples of the water some going this way some going that way. But all of them, every single ripple is going somewhere; somewhere unknown, uncharted, undiscovered. And here I am watching the river rush by me with nowhere to go. I want to call out to the ripples “where should I go what should I pursue.” But they keep on going paying no mind to me or my dreams by the river. How I wish I could just pick up and go to somewhere far away from here somewhere where everyone and everything is full of life and excitement, somewhere I could be free. But for now I have to sit and watch the ripples go by and bide my time until one day when the opportunity comes knocking I won’t be tied to this river I’ll be ridin on the next train outta here. And you’ll see my name on a billboard and my name in lights, and some kid will take my place on this river and dream of his life, and he’ll say “I love to look down at the river and dream”... dreams…hmph
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